- DON’T GO OUTSIDE
No seriously, just don’t bother. Order some seamless, get the Netflix on and work from home. Delivery.com will bring anything you need to your door. Hibernation is key.
2. If you MUST go outside, keep the time to a minimum
Remember the Satan’s furnace that was the subway in summer? Yeah, now it’s your friend. If you normally get out at 33rd and just walk to work, this is no longer an option. Pay the $2.75 and get the subway, or pay the price with missing fingers and toes.
3. Layer it up
There are two main reasons for this. One is obvious – to keep warm. The second is in reference to point number 2. Despite it being a barren frosty wasteland above ground, below ground its still pretty toasty. And you’re going to get hot under the collar during that commute of yours. Make sure you have easily removable items to stop you from fainting.
4. Expect the unexpected
It looks sunny outside huh? Perfect day to wear ripped knee jeans and a crop top! WRONG. Never have you been so wrong. It is COLD. Apart from when it changes its mind about winter and it’s 20 degrees on Christmas Eve.
5. Treat yo self
You need to invest in that winter jacket. Sorry, but you’re going to have to part ways with some of your hard earned stipend and buy something that’s going to protect you from the windchill whistling down 5th Avenue. There’s nothing worse than spending $100 on a jacket, to find out its not cosy enough and having to drop another $250 later down the line.
6. Keep those tootsies warm
As above, you need some grippy shoes. Function over fashion! (Do I sound like your mum yet?)
7. Did someone say thermals?
Pull on those sexy long-johns and get ready for a big night out on the Hoboken strip my friends.
8. Keep those lips juicy
Constant minus temperatures are going to take the toll on your beautiful face. Do everyone a favour and buy some chapstick and moisturiser, to keep those lips kissable.
9. Stay hydrated
Drink it hot with lemon if you must, but drink it all the same.
10. Invest in an electric blanket
For realzies one of the best things you’ll ever buy. Put it on 10 minutes before you go to bed and when you get in it’s toasty warmness #smug
11. And a hot water bottle
Portable. Tape it to your back. Cradle it like your new born child. Top up when required.
12. Leather gloves are the way forward
Say goodbye to those fingerless homeless-person-chic woolen gloves you got at accessorize when you were 14. They’ll do you no good here.
13. Tape up those windows
Duct tape all around the edges of those babies. Duct tape all across them. It’s dark outside anyway.
Yeah..deep dark fears of freezing to death.
14. Stock up on hot beverages
Lattes and cappuccinos galore. Calories don’t count when it’s -11 degrees outside.
And if all else fails…
15. Move to Mexico
God speed and beware the white walkers.